Mike in Finland

Thursday 30 November 2023

Only 2 full days left for free giveaway

 

Biking: the story of a teenage romance

My latest short story is free in Kindle on Amazon until 2 December (midday Pacific time) Here it is: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CP2D6LV6
It fits into the Young Adult category but I think Old Adults could enjoy it too. And the good news is that it is free for 5 days, starting 28 November until 2 December. Start and finish times are midday Pacific Time.
I would be very interested to hear any comments.


Monday 27 November 2023

Short story published on Amazon

 My short story, Biking: the story of a teenage romance, is available in Kindle form on Amazon. It fits into the Young Adult category, but I think Old Adults can enjoy it too. You can find it on Amazon by searching the title and/or my name, Mike Horwood, or by using the address below:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CP2D6LV6

 

There is a 5-day promotion from 28 November until 2 December (start and finish times midday Pacific Time) when the story can be downloaded for free.

Happy reading.

Monday 9 November 2020

Philip Marlowe Takes a Break

Here's a humorous little dramatic monologue to brighten your day, and also to provide some insight into the life of a private dick. It should ideally be read aloud with a strong American accent. A version of this text was first published in Muse (Manchester Metropolitan University, 2008).


Philip Marlowe takes a break

 

It was a stakeout on Riverside Drive and I was beginning to smell a rat. There wasn’t a river in sight, so what was in this name? I needed to know, bad. I was working along the lines of when is a river not a river? when a Buick drifted to the gate, launched into the street and sailed off towards town. I sailed after it with a confident smile. Right, river, got it. But it had been a tough nut to crack and I knew then that this case was gonna be no walk in the park.

 

The Buick pulled up outside a diner. It was a classy joint and I was wearing a shirt I’d picked up from the cleaner’s four days before. It was still clean, though; just a couple of coffee stains, so I followed the driver inside.

 

She was a blonde. One of those blondes that drops into your life like a lottery ticket. Whatever that means. She was as pretty as a picture on a July day in Memphis, Tennessee and I was about to become one of the world’s greatest art collectors.

 

The smell of burgers and fries rose up my nostrils like a rocket off the launch pad at NASA. I was famished. I hadn’t eaten in four days. Ha! So that’s why my shirtfront was so clean.

 

The blonde took a seat by the window. I scanned the place. There was a Joe in the corner I didn’t much like the look of.

 

“Hey, Joe,” I said, “where you goin’ with that gun in your pants?”

 

But he was a bag of nerves. He made a lunge for the door, slipped and fell, spilling the beans as he hit the dirt. They went all over him. God, he looked a mess. I couldn’t help a silly smirk. Now he’d have to pay a trip to the laundry.

 

I sat down where I could watch the blonde. She was there to meet someone, I figured.

 

“What’ll it be, Buster?”

 

I gave the waitress a cool look and lit a cigarette.

 

“Your boss has a hunting lodge on 69th Street and thirty-six shotguns registered for hunting,” I told her, “so I reckon moose is on the menu. Mooses is big animals, and kinda cute, but I’ll eat one anyway.”

 

The waitress stared at me in admiration, or disbelief, and I didn’t much care which because somewhere, at the back of my mind, an alarm bell was ringin’, tryin’ to tell me somethin’. Somethin’ about a patsy called Toby. But was it Toby, or not Toby: that was the question.

 

Right at that moment I noticed the waitress’s name badge: Toby Ornott!

 

“Transvestisisism is’m offence in the State of California!” I spluttered. Hell, they oughta write these long words out of the law. “I’m calling the Feds. Feds!” I yelled, several times.

 

So it looked like the blonde was in the clear. I sure was happy about that. She was still sitting by the window but making ready to leave. I sloped over, picked her keys off the table and said, “Let’s you and me take a trip down river. I’ll drive”

 

“Piss off!” she replied, getting to her feet. She was a good six foot one, something I must have overlooked.

 

She exited and left me standing there. I was still feeling kinda tender and almost offered to take Joe for a ride to the cleaner’s, but thought better of it. The case was closed and I was free. Free as a napkin after a meal: screwed up, soiled and no use to anyone.

Friday 5 April 2019

One of my poems

It's been a while since I posted one of my poems so here's a humorous one from several years ago. It was published on the Crowsfeet online poetry website a few years back.



Defying The Devil

Get thee behind me, Satan!

Ah, on second thoughts
perhaps we could come to some
sort of accommodation.
Let's not be rash or over-nice.
What exactly are you offering?
And what's the price?

Before we begin the negotiation
I should point out
that I'm not so naive
as to actually believe
you would answer my every wish.
Nor do I expect you to be satisfied with
something so vague as my eternal soul.

So, if you could see your way
to gratifying some of my more
outlandish little peccadilloes -
those quirks of taste -
and supplying the necessary dosh
for a life of profligacy and waste,
I would be willing to submit
to becoming a social pariah;
to be held up as a bad example,
pointed at, pilloried, reviled
and abused by citizens driven to wild
outrage by my excesses.

I can't manage all that on my own,
I need a backer.
So, how do you feel?
What do you say?
Is it a deal?

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Wednesday 16 January 2019

Sampola discussion topic for 9 April


This is the topic for our next meeting on Tuesday, 9 April.


Café Life


1.         What do you understand by ‘café culture’?
What nations do you associate with ‘café culture’?
How important are cafés in the Finnish lifestyle?
Are there different types of café?
What range of cafés can you find in Tampere?
Can they all survive?
Do the cafés in Tampere do a good business?
Have any cafes closed down recently?
Have any new ones opened recently?
What do you think makes an attractive atmosphere in a café?
Have you been to any very good or interesting cafés abroad?
            What about in Stockholm, Tallinn, London, Paris, Vienna, other cities?
            What features or characteristics make a café special?


2.         What do you think of the prices in cafés?
Are they good value for money?
How often do you go to a café?
How do you select a café?
What do you look for in a café that you would use regularly?
Do you have any favourites?
Do you have anything to eat or just have a drink?
Are cafés good places for food/lunch?

3.         How long does each visit typically last?
Do you usually / sometimes take reading material to the café?
Do you meet friends in cafés?
Do you use cafés for some kinds of meetings e.g. clubs, associations, social?
Is there any limit on how long you can sit at the table?

4.         What is an internet café?
How does it differ from an ordinary café?
What do you pay for in an internet café?
What does it mean if a café offers free wi-fi access?
Do you ever use your lap-top, tablet or smart phone in a café?
How long would you sit on at your table after you have finished your coffee?

5.         Looking from the owner’s point of view, what is the problem with customers buying one cup of coffee and then sitting in the café for four hours surfing the internet?
What is the solution?

6.         Would you like to run your own café business?
            Why (not)?
            What style of café would it be, if you did?


Tuesday 16 January 2018

Sampola discussion topic for Tuesday 4 December

These are the topics for our next class on Tuesday 4 December.

What kind of world will our children inherit?


1.         There has been a lot of discussion about nuclear energy. Do you believe that nuclear power represents the best solution for our future energy needs?
What are the benefits and drawbacks of nuclear energy?
What are your views on alternative energy sources?
Will we still be driving cars 50 years from now?
If so, will they use petrol as fuel?
What alternative fuels can cars use?
Do you think they are better than petrol or diesel?  Why?
Is there a real alternative to the private car?

2.         There has also been a lot of discussion about climate change. How seriously do you take the threat to our planet from climate change?
Or is it just a threat to humans and our social organisations?
If we don´t control the level of greenhouse gas emissions, what results do you envisage in 20years?               
What about in 50 years?
Have you noticed changes in summer or winter weather since you were a child?               
What about in the last 10 / 20 years?
Will there be ice at the North Pole and glaciers in the Himalayas at the end of this century?
What do you know about the recent wildfires in California?
Are they sign of climate change or is there another explanation?
What does Donald Trump say about the fires?

3.         What do you think about environmental organisations such as Greenpeace and WWF?
Have you joined, or considered joining, such organisations?
Why (not)?
Do you think these organisations have an important role to play?
Are any species of animals living in Finland in danger of extinction?

4.         How do you see the role of governments and government policy in environmental issues?
Is it possible for national governments to be effective in environmental issues?
What actions has the Finnish Government taken to protect the environment?
Have they had a real and noticeable effect?
Do we have the will to implement an effective environmental policy?
What role do multi-national corporations play in protecting the environment?

5.         What do you think will happen to the world supply of food in the next 20 or 50 years?
What about the supply of fresh and clean water?
What are your views on population growth?
Do you think it is significant that the majority of the world´s largest cities are on the coast?

6.         What are your views on multiculturalism and cultural diversity?
What are your views on the relationship between Islam and Christianity?
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